Overcoming Obstacles; Learning Lessons, Now What? Angers, France (BB)

Angers, France

In some ways it feels like just yesterday that I arrived here in France, in other ways it feels like I have been here for far longer. In truth, it has been almost three months since I left the United States for the study abroad experience of a lifetime. When I hit the halfway mark for my stay in France, the start of April, it was in the back of my mind that I would be leaving soon, but I did not really think much more about it. Fast forward a few weeks, April is drawing to a close and I fly home in about five weeks. I think that everything just started to feel real when I finally purchased my ticket home. Now that my flight home has a date and time, it is a much more concrete thing in my mind.

French cheese shop

Thinking back on the experience so far, I think that the most difficult obstacle I have faced here is just speaking the language without faltering. I am lucky enough to have a host mother who speaks English, which makes it much easier if I do not know a word in french, but it also means that I have to step outside my host family's house to put myself out of my comfort zone. If I am out in public speaking to people who do not also speak a bit of English, I am then forced to flounder my way around the conversation in some way or another. When I first got here, I was very shy and would often depend on other people in my little group of friends to do most of the talking if we met locals or had questions at a restaurant. It wasn't that I didn't understand what was being said, it was that I was not confident enough in my french to attempt to speak because I was too scared of making mistakes. It took me awhile to figure out that most french people in this small town are forgiving, and if anything, will try to help me with my french if I make a mistake while I am speaking. There is a very kind family at the market I go to on Saturday mornings, my friends and I refer to them as our “Cheese People” because they always have a stall with cheese and other products from their farm. When I speak to them, they are always patient and help me with my pronunciation, sometimes repeating words several times for me. I am by no means fluent in french, but after studying here for three months I am much more comfortable speaking and I also realize that making mistakes is the only way I am going to learn.

Now that I'm getting to the final few weeks of my experience, I am experiencing the stereotypical “bittersweet” period that I have heard many previous students of study abroad talk about. At some moments, I find myself wishing I could return home tomorrow because I miss my family and friends, American food and culture, and just the mundane aspects of daily life back in Pennsylvania. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my bedroom at home just to be in a more familiar space, but other times I wonder what I will feel like when I get back. Some of the restaurants here in Angers have become “my space”. There is a small kebab restaurant that I often go to with my friends, and even though it sounds like just a small aspect of my time in France, it is one of those places that has become so familiar to me in my time here. The man who runs it knows the orders of me and all of my friends, we are creatures of habit when it comes to our food. Back in the United States, most of the restaurants near me are more chains than anything, and I would never expect anyone working there to remember me or my order even if I went there five times a week.

I also find myself thinking about all of the new friends I have made in my time here. Will I ever keep in contact with them when I leave? I have made friends from different countries, from different states in the U.S., from everywhere. I miss my old friend in the United States like crazy, but I know that I will miss everyone I met in France as soon as I leave. I also miss my parents, who I'm used to seeing every month or so even when I'm away at school because I'm less than two hours away from home. My amazing host mother who has guided me through my time in France will probably one of the hardest people to leave behind here. The life I have
made here, even if only for a few months, has become my new normal. A new set of friends, a new family, and a new home will be traded for what was once my normal life when I fly home in June, and I will miss all of it.