Thursday, April 28, 2016

Interpersonal Relationships Buenos Aires LB

"The World Is a Book and Those Who Do Not Travel Read Only One Page"

It is hard to believe that I am halfway through my study abroad experience here in Buenos Aires. As the weather gets colder (I never realized 32 degree would affect me so much...) and I see my friends at Allegheny finishing up their semester, the closest I can get to describing how I feel is bittersweet. I am jealous that the academic part for my friends is over, However, I would not trade anything for the experience I have been given to be abroad in Argentina. This weekend my study abroad program CIEE took us into the northern part of Argentina which a large part is desert. There was a lot of soul searching going on. You realize a lot about yourself and the people around you when you are stuck on a 15 hour bus ride and your phone is dead.
A group of us talked about how we were feeling about Argentina and what we have learned so far. Truth be told, ever since I left Pittsburgh for Allegheny, I have been accustomed to the idea/feeling of a "temporary home." For the time being, the little cabana apartment that I am staying in suffices for a place to stay and after a long day of studying or a long weekend of traveling, of course I just want to return to my room of privacy and knock out, but nothing will compare to my bed in Pittsburgh, or the smell of my mom's cooking through the hallway, or to have the atmosphere of 100% comfortableness. (FYI nobody worry, I am comfortable here, it is just a distinct form of comfortableness.) Also to clarify, it is not the fact that I miss the United States per say, I much more wish that my friend and family could come down here and spend time with me.
 Relationships here are difficult to breach. Everyone already has tight knit groups and even though people are usually friendly, it is not the same. Sometimes I just want to kick back with my people and joke or talk about familiar things, like the Steelers or Pittsburgh, things I know... Everything here is new. You're always learning, nothing is familiar.
A rule I learned here very strongly and very quickly is that of masculinity. Argentina is very traditional in some topics, where masculinity of Argentinian men is fragile. Thankfully, all of the men that I am continuously in contact with, are good and "woke." (Eyes open and realize that women are not below men.) I have been in many situations though, especially when going out to the club, when guys just grab up on me without question. They feel that they are entitled to dance with you and try to show off for their friends who is the most macho. Errrr... WRONG! I shut these little boys down very quick. That is the positive I guess, I actually found my voice here that "no" means "NO." I always hear my mom and aunts' voice in my head, "Nobody has the right to put their hands on you... ever!" Even in our program, the women directors warned us that, "It is highly unlikely Argentinian guys want to be friends with you, they're flat out only looking for one thing." However, this is such a specific part of the culture. Like I previously mentioned, there are many good guys that I have met that are genuinely good people.
I can't believe that a new group of students has already been accepted into the study abroad program. It feels like such a long time ago, I was also accepted and calling my mom freaking out and she was also freaking out... but for other reasons. Don't be discouraged by negatives of all the blog posts... take them as a grain of salt. But some advice; EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED & NEVER HAVE A PREDETERMINED IDEA. Be prepared for everything, if your mother packs Vicks and Benadryl in your bag, DO NOT TAKE IT OUT! I REPEAT: DO NOT TAKE IT OUT. You may think you not need that jacket or an extra pair of socks... take it. Trust me. It will come in handy when the temperature drops and you wake up with a stuffy nose and a head cold.
Take every opportunity and let yourself grow, because isn't that what study abroad is all about? Good luck to the newbies and get hyped! This is a chance of a lifetime!

In the desert with some cool rocks
Rockin Allegheny as always 

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Obstacles Overcome; Lessons Learned; Now What?: Angers (CL)

I can read for fun here. Men At Arms, by Terry Pratchett.

It was a somewhat more emotional experience than I expected, looking back at my first blog post. I was so enchanted by how pretty the city was - which has since become normal for me. Perhaps before I leave I should do some more walking around, just stopping to admire how pretty it all is again. It's also a reminder of my ongoing challenges. I talked about spending time trying to familiarize myself with the city because I don't trust my sense of direction (navigation since then has become much easier). But it's not just my sense of direction, really. I just deal with a lot of self-doubt in general. 


When I first arrived, my language skills were reasonably good, but I was afraid to speak anyway. I didn't trust myself to be able to speak well enough to not be looked down on despite how long I've been studying the language. What I learned is that much of what people pick up on and react to is not the level of your language but the confidence with which you speak. If you hold yourself with uncertainty, they assume your skill in the language is low. If you hold yourself with confidence, they assume your language level is good. Easier said than done, especially for people who have backgrounds anything like mine. If you spend your time making yourself as small as possible to avoid provoking conflict, making that switch is difficult. When I was younger I was involved in theater, and my directors would always remind us how acting could be a useful skill in real life as well. "If you're not confident, act it," they would say. Still, it is difficult to act in ways you wouldn't normally within the context of being inside your own life, stuck in your own body and your own clothes, without a character to play.


This is my biggest challenge. Coming from a background of trauma, how do you go about re-learning how to exist once you are safe (or safer than you were)? How do you try to make new homes for yourself when everything scares you? How do you try to turn the unfamiliar into the familiar while you look around you at all the people who just fundamentally do not understand your experiences, and you constantly feel like you just do not fit? How do you go about having the experiences you're supposed to have abroad when some days your biochemistry gets in the way? 



Looking back at my first blog post, I remembered the moment before I learned about the class I was placed in, sitting nervously in a classroom until a man walked in and began playing the piano. I remember relaxing, listening to the piano, and thinking, I'm going to be okay. I also mentioned my writing in that first post. During a period toward the beginning of my semester here, there was this sense of triumph, this joy that I had made it this far to the point at which I was the safest I'd ever been, mixed with some sadness for what I hadn't been able to experience before. During that period I wrote often, almost on a daily basis, about where I'd come from, about both the grief and the triumph of being safer than ever before. 

Cats help.
Before looking back at that blog post, I hadn't realized the ways in which I've changed since writing it. Daily life is a little easier now, even though I still face many of the same challenges. And I am learning, slowly, but I am learning that what I need to do first and foremost is accept the ways that I am and accommodate my needs. Other people aren't going to understand without an explanation, and that's okay. It is up to me when and where and with who I invest that effort. But first of all, before anybody else, I need to recognize what I can and can't do from moment to moment, and I need to react to that with kindness. 

I think before coming here, this was a concept I grasped intellectually, but had trouble imagining as a reality. Before coming here I would bury myself in work to escape, and work until I wasn't able to work anymore. I would burn myself out intentionally, over and over and over. Here, I have more time. I have begun to realize some ways I can use that time that are good for me. I have spent some time reading for fun, something I never have time for during the semester. I've made some playlists on Spotify, because music is healing. Every now and again I have dinner with the friends I've made here, and I Skype some of my friends from the United States. 




I've come up with hours to stay at school and do homework, and I make myself take breaks. I take walks on the trail behind my apartment. I have times when it's okay to do nothing other than what I feel like doing. 

Looking back at my first blog post, that's the moment that strikes me. Listening to the piano and thinking, I'm going to be okay. In many ways, my time abroad has been very difficult to me. But this idea is becoming more real, more achievable. The world is beginning to look more hopeful. I am learning how to accommodate myself. I will create spaces for myself and for those who benefit from those spaces. 

I'm looking forward to going home, which is at school, among friends. Because even though life here is easier now than it was, I am longing for a place where I can return to, where I have people who already know, where there is no more need to explain, but where I can talk freely. I don't think home will be unfamiliar now that I've been abroad. Going back to college housing and my friends and walking to the grocery store will be a return to the familiar. I have a found family, and I am so lucky.  


"Coming Home," from the collection Dream Works by Mary Oliver

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Interpersonal Relationships: Buenos Aires (YO)

It has already been two months since I began my semester abroad in Argentina. The first two weeks were a bit rough. Nothing really felt like home and the constant introduction to new things, people and places caused me to feel anxious. I was waiting for a routine, waiting for my life here to feel normal. As these feelings began to subside, I was able to observe the culture in a different, more distinct way. These observations lead to the moments when I started to feel at home in my host country. However, these moments were not ones of bliss, so to speak but of frustration which bore the need for me to call another place outside of the United States home. 

Gender/sexuality in addition to race/ethnicity all play a complex role in Argentine society. In terms of gender, there is much machismo ("strong or aggressive masculine pride" #thanksgoogle) present all throughout Latin America but especially in Argentina. In general, men are much more aggressive and outspoken towards women. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have been catcalled, approached or fought guys off in a boliche (dance club) since I've been here. What upsets me most about this is that while women are at times empowered and encouraged (usually only by other women) to say no when we feel uncomfortable, why are we subject to these "uncomfortable" situations to begin with? It's no surprise either that the autonomy women have over their own bodies is an issue worldwide but understanding how and why it takes place in each culture is one of the primary steps to dismantling it.

The other observation I made about the culture was the attitudes towards race here. Argentina has become the Latin American country with the most highly concentrated white population. The combination of genocides against indigenous groups, the "disappearance" of African slaves along with their descendants and a high inflation of European immigrants have all come to greatly shape the demographic, aesthetic profile and overall Argentine culture. While there are still indigenous groups and people of African descent present all throughout the country, the numbers pale in comparison to those of European descent. Furthermore, it is a common belief that there are no Afro-argentines or people of African descent in Argentina at all. This misconception is held by many within and outside of Argentina alike. All the same, for the past six or seven years there have been waves of people from countries across the world that come to Argentina (especially B.A.) to work, to go to school and even to find refuge from different types of persecution they face in their home country.

These waves have lead to higher numbers of people of African descent in the country. However, the presence of Black faces and Black bodies are still sometimes an enigma for Argentines of other descents. Getting stares especially when I wear my hair in braids or an afro is common. Not to mention, I get called morocha a lot which generally means a person with dark hair and a darker (than what is expected here) complexion. This term is often used by men when hitting on a woman with darker features. Usually because it is also common for "morochas" to be hypersexualized or stereotyped as being sexually compulsive.

These observations/experiences  along with the stress of college life and acclimating to a new lifestyle sometimes made me feel out of place and altogether overwhelmed. Although I have never questioned my decision to come to Argentina, there were times that I wished I was back in the States instead of here. Unbelievably though, the most ironic thing about all this is that when I felt like an alien being observed on my way to class or an object when random guys try to dance with me in the club, I thought to myself "I can't wait to go home." But when I thought of home I didn't think of my house, family or friends in the States. Instead I thought of going back to my 3 bedroom apartment in Villa Crespo that was so warmly opened up to me by my host family two months ago today.

Reflecting on this now has helped me to appreciate the context of home in a way that I never did before. The happy experiences we have in any given place or time become nostalgic memories that we like to reminisce over as we think about certain aspects of our lives. Whereas the places where we endure painful moments as well as joyous ones leave a lasting, bittersweet impression on us that we may forget the details of but always remember the feelings they caused. But isn't that home? A place where you find both love and sadness but the former always overcomes the latter?


Me and my afro :)

At least this has been my experience. I cannot project it onto anyone else. Nevertheless, what I would tell other students who are about to embark on their journey abroad is to not waste time being anyone other than yourself. When I first got to B.A. it was hard feeling comfortable in this new culture as a Black woman. I would feel so self-conscious about my big hair, full lips, and non-European body that it was almost unbearable at times. Then I remembered there are people everywhere who will have their opinions about me, for better or for worse. Either way I needed to be comfortable and confident in my own skin whatever culture or country I am in. In short, there will always be certain cultural distinctions that you as a guest should adhere to during your time abroad but if those distinctions are built off of a patriarchal society and/or a racebent history like my experience has been, don't be afraid to challenge the norm. If you are able to find some relief like the kind my host parents and friends have provided for me here, the challenges you face abroad will always be less than the amazing moments you will gain.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Interpersonal Relationships: Buenos Aires (MO)


There have been many times throughout my two months in Argentina where I have felt at home. Actually the majority of my time in Buenos Aires, I have felt right at home. I am lucky to say that I have not really suffered from homesickness thus far. This might have to do with the fact that I have been given the wonderful opportunity to live with an amazing woman who is now my "madre argentina" (Argentine mom), or the fact that the argentine culture is very welcoming to foreigners.

Talampaya, La Rioja
 I recently (this morning at 9am) got home from a long weekend trip from another region of Argentina. CIEE, my study away program, took all 40 students on a field trip to the desert and to two different national parks for a weekend, to show us a different part of Argentina. The trip basically consisted of a 15 hour bus ride, each way, and many many hours in a different bus driving around the desert. The sights that we were able to see were absolutely stunning, but the endless hours of driving around in a micro (to a person that gets severely motion-sickness) was not my ideal vacation. Because of the many countless hours of uncomfortable sleep in the bus, I kept finding myself thinking that I just wanted to go "home". I wanted to sleep in my bed, in my room. It was then that I realized that I was not referring to "my" room in the U.S., but rather my room in Buenos Aires. I was thinking of Buenos Aires as my home, and that is when it all clicked. I had finally made the internal change to calling Argentina my home. This is something that I do not find that hard to accomplish, coming from a person that in the last 3 years my home has switched between Castrop-Rauxel, Germany, Kerhonkson, New York, Kingston, New York, Meadville, Pennsylvania, and now Buenos Aires, Argentina. Although this idea is not foreign to me, I still very grateful every time my home does change, this means that I am comfortable enough with the society in which I'm living that I feel that I belong. 

El Oblisco in Buenos Aires
The feeling of belonging, comes along with many "rules". These "rules" are norms, or guidelines that communities put forward to keep structure. Although one could definitely argue that argentine society lacks structure, there are definitely some "rules" that come along with living in Buenos Aires. 

Argentines coming together to protest
The first major rule is that argentines always work as a group. In american culture is concept of group work does not exist easily. America is a "dog eat dog" world, "every man for himself" is a common phrase that one learns very early on in childhood. In Argentina it is quite the opposite. It seems that everyone works together as a whole here. Although at the moment, most argentines would argue that although they are working together, nothing is getting done, I find that working together is more important. Being able to rely on others, and support others provides a healthy environment to live in. In Argentina it is very common to see people helping others in the subte, or on the buses. For these reasons the need for personal freedom is not as strong in Argentina. People do not feel the need to be completely individual, in fact if one is too individual they seem to stick out. I do not always think that this is the best attribute to argentine culture, but I enjoy understanding the differences between these aspects of argentine and american culture. 

La Rioja, Argentina
Another interesting "rule" of argentine culture has to do with gender. Genders are much more defined in Argentina than they are in the U.S. It seems that gender roles really play a role in argentine society. It is assumed that all men in argentina are macho, and are strong individuales. Men do not cry, especially not in front a females. It is also assumed that the man works and earns the money for the family, while the females are meant to do housework. Females are much more emotional individuales and are weaker in the eyes of an argentine. Something that I find extremely degrading about women in argentine culture, is that women are seen as objects. It is very common that during my walk to university, I am whistled at and called different demeaning names because of my gender. Men feel that they are able to say whatever they want to a girl while walking down the street because it is a "compliment". Neither the words that are being yelled at my on the street, nor the facial reactions that I receive when I do not respond are "compliments". I am aware that this happens within the U.S. as well, but I have not seen it this apparent. This might have something to do with the idea that in Argentina men are expected to show girls that they like them. It clubs in Argentina it is very common for a man to come and grab your arm to dance with him, without asking for your permission first. I believe that the idea of consent has a stronger influence on communities with the U.S. than in Argentina. 

Allegheny girls sticking together
Although there are many "rules" to a society, one always has to remember that there are also "rules" within the society that you are from. There are many customs and social norms that americans follow every day. These customs just seem like normal things to us, while to a foreigner they might seem very strange. To future students that are planning on studying away, I recommend that they just take advantage of the time that they will have while abroad. I am almost half way done with my semester abroad, and that terrifies me. I feel like there are so many things that I still have to learn about argentine culture. I still want to better my Castellano greatly, and I still want to develop life-long relationships with argentines. I have come to grounds with the fact that I will be able to fulfill these wishes through one word..."yes". Saying yes is the most important thing that one can do while abroad. Your host family will ask you many times if you want to try new foods, go to the market, or read an article in their newspaper. Your university will ask you to volunteer in the slums, go to tutoring sessions, and to go to talks about Borges. Your friends will ask you to go out with them, to go to the movies, and to grab some coffee, and all you need to know is the word "yes". "Yes" will allow you to expand your horizons in many different ways, and will really show you the different layers of a community that make up one amazing culture. 

Interpersonal Relationships: Australia (MCS)

        For me, the friends you keep can make or break the experience and feelings you have towards a place. The most at home I’ve felt in Australia is when I am joking around and talking to a group of my friends. The routine of going to classes, having meals with friends, and doing homework is the exact same as Allegheny; just a different place and different people. Recently I traveled to New Zealand for our week-long lecture recess here and even though I traveled with the same friends I do everything else with, the lack of routine affected us greatly.



      Culturally, I’ve found that Australia and America are very similar. Therefore, individualism here is embraced as it would be in America. That being said, when it comes to gender, sexuality, and respect of the individual, it is a lot less prevalent in the news and in general conversation. I think I’ve only conversed with one person about any of these topics in the 3 months that I have been here versus the many times these topics will come up in conversation per week at Allegheny. I think it’s a lot more accepted by the younger generation as in America, because it has become a norm. However, the older generations, though they don’t seem to be as verbal about it as back in the states, are less warm to the ideas of same-sex marriage and undefined gender, etc. as their children. Though as most issues in America and in Australia, I think the opinion is entirely reliant upon the individual. 

      For new students who have just been accepted into study away programs my only advice is to come to your host country with an open mind. Like most new places, there will be things you hate and there will be things you love. Embrace the differences and you will learn to adjust. You will probably only be in that country for a short amount of time, so if there are things that you cannot stand, know that you will only have to endure them for a few months. The study abroad experience is what you make of it. You won’t always be comfortable but that’s part of the reason you came to study abroad. No matter what, it will be a life altering experience and enjoy every bit of time you can because it will go by quickly.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Interpersonal Relationships: Australia (MAS)

Interpersonal Relationships


Over the past two and a half months I have been able to completely settle into life in Australia.  I know what to expect and I am comfortable with my daily routine.  The days I feel most at home are the common days of brekky (breakfast), class, hanging out with my friends, dinner, and some homework before bed.  All of my activities here feel so natural and I am now at the point where I could not imagine my life without Uni Hall and all of my friends here.

I feel the most at home doing the things I love like climbing the hill at sunset with my friends.

The relationships I have with my "squad" here are similar to friendships I have in the States, just with fewer boundaries.  We all live in the same building, attend most of the same classes, and eat every meal together which means we are virtually inseparable.  You get to know people in Australia pretty well when you are always by their side and there is little fear of offending people.  So while I may be closer with my friends here, relationships with my professors are the opposite.  At Allegheny I talk one on one with my professors and/or advisors daily and never hesitate to chat in office hours or before/after class.  At James Cook, I am fairly certain most of my professors don't know a single student's name.  I am not sure if this is a difference between a small and large school or between America and Australia.  Other than these differences and the lack of social "rules" in Australia, relationships between people are very similar.

Places feel a bit more like home once you have established a routine and climbing Castle Hill on Sunday mornings before the markets open is one of my favorite weekly activities.

We just had our mid-semester break and by the end of the ten days, I missed Uni Hall so much.  I was ready to go home and sleep in my bed and be with my hall mates again.  It is crazy to be so attached to a place and people I met just a couple of months ago.  I never thought I could feel so at home in a foreign country away from everything I had ever known.

It took a surprisingly short amount of time to feel comfortable in Australia.  Perhaps it was because the two countries are so similar.  Like most Americans, most Australians also strive for individual gains over communal gains.  However, there is much more college pride in Uni Hall than I have seen in any college in America.  People from both countries also take pride in which state they represent.  New South Wales people dislike Queenslanders just like Pennsylvanians dislike people from Maryland, especially when it comes to sports teams.

Above you can see all the freshers (first-years) wearing the green and gold Uni Hall colors showing off our college pride.
Above is the aftermath of Uni Hall's Men's Water Polo win in the team finals.  After we won, many students jumped into the pool to join the team in celebration.

Overall, Australia's views on gender and sexuality and race and ethnicity are very similar to the States.  The younger population is in favor of equality but Australians are not pushing for it nearly as much as Americans.  For example, same sex marriage is not legal anywhere in Australia but most younger citizens do not care if couples are homosexual.  Races here are also treated equally with the exception of the Aboriginal people, similar to the Native Americans of the States.  Aboriginals have been given their own land and abide by their own rules (ex. children do not have to go to school and cannot be punished by the law).
Wambiana: one of the many places I have been able to travel to within Australia.
My advice to students coming to James Cook next semester would be to embrace it with your arms wide open.  There will be some differences, but every experience is a good one.  Before coming to Australia I questioned if it was the right decision for me; but the minute I stepped off the plane I knew I was in for the best semester of college I have ever had.  To make your time here as amazing as it can be, do yourselves a favor and make friends with the Australians and people from countries other than America.  Some of my best times here have been comparing cultures with people I never thought I would meet (ex. someone from Hungary, Austria, the Philippines, etc.).  So make friends with those people, and then travel with them as much as you can before the semester work picks up near finals time.  There is so much to see in Australia and in the neighboring countries.  Your time here will go by faster than you believe is possible so take advantage of every minute.

Obstacles Overcome; Lessons Learned; Now What?: Angers, France (AS)

Fountain in one of the main squares in Angers
           
This is it, I'm well into the halfway mark of my semester abroad, and I hate to see it all come to an end so soon. Although I have about two months left over the pond, I still want time to slow down a bit more so I can really take it all in. A lot of things have happened since my arrival in February. I have switched languages, made new friends, learned new customs, and I have come across quite a few obstacles along the way. I know I have mentioned this a few times throughout my posts, but the largest obstacle I have had to overcome was that of switching host families. It was awkward to tell my former host parents that I was leaving their house because I was uncomfortable and that it felt like they wanted nothing to do with me. I did, however, have a realization moment yesterday when I was at the farmer’s market. I happened to see my old host parents, and I instantly darted into the other aisle of the market in attempt to avoid them. Everyone who knows me knows that I, of all people, am not afraid of confrontation, I usually tell people to face their problems head on so they can be solved early on. When I saw my old host parents I felt nothing but anger and regret because of how they treated me. It made me ten billion times more thankful that I was proactive and I talked to people in the school to help switch houses, for it completely changed feelings about my abroad life.
A view of the Château d'Angers from across the Maine
            My host mom has been a complete and total game changer. She loves to laugh and is an amazing cook. I couldn’t be more thankful to be in her home with her, sharing all of these memories with someone who cares about me. Yes, all of my friends hear about my adventures abroad, but she is the one that sees the play-by-play and gives me advice if I need it. She asked me the other day at dinner if I was happy here with her, and I instantly just started to thank her because she has changed so much for me. Some advice, don’t be afraid to talk to someone about an uncomfortable home-stay condition if you're abroad, for it may actually be an issue and it could be impeding your abroad experience.
            I believe that my most important asset in my tool-belt is my ability to adapt and figure out my way through any situation. I have always believed that snipping situations at the bud tends to be the best way to go about a problem. This does need to have some prior reflection to ensure a good outcome, though. I also feel that my confidence in speaking French has come in handy here, as to be expected. It’s a good thing, I believe, to just try your best and have the confidence to talk, if errors come about, they can serve as a lesson. These lessons build up over time and make it easier to learn new concepts with real life examples in conversation. It has been nice here to have the option to meet new people and use my small talk skills in French.
UCO at sunrise, one of my favorite views
            Looking back at my first post about the five senses, I think I have some changes, yet some of my hypotheses remain true today, such as how photos do not give any justice to the sites that I have seen. On another note, hearing a new language has been changing the way I hear the world. I am much more aware of my audible surroundings. It is easy to find myself eavesdropping into another’s conversation at dinner in hopes that I can understand their conversation. Also in the realm of audible experiences, I have fallen in love with my daily running route to the Loire River. Along the way are bountiful amounts of orchards and other odd trees that are filled with birds that are more than happy to sing me a song as i run along the beaten path. For taste, I have more so developed some favorites rather than changing anything. I still love the endless pain au chocolat, but my new love comes from my macaron girl at the Saturday market. Nothing makes me happier at the market than seeing her in her white truck selling the rainbow of macarons she has to offer. Unfortunately, on a smelly note,  one thing that will probably forever remain true, as I am in France, is the fact that I am pelted with clouds of cigarette smoke that pollutes my lungs as I walk around town.  
          I do believe that is possible to make the world your home, it all varies on how attached someone becomes to a certain city. I now have a home here in Angers, France, and the once unfamiliar has now become the familiar. I have grown to love Angers, and I look forward to my 
adventures that rest ahead of me in my time left here. I do have some fears of my home being moderately unfamiliar though. The only things that haunt me are the fact that I am missing my brother’s and my best friends’ graduations and also the fact that I did miss an entire semester of inside jokes and adventures with my loved ones, even though I had my own amazing adventures here, it still is haunting my subconscious. More adventures are to come in my life, especially now that I am so close to so many interesting and diverse countries. I can’t wait to share stories of all of my adventures, as I wait impatiently to hear about theirs. My life has forever changed after living 3865.27 miles away from my life at my first home, and it will forever remain the adventure of a lifetime.

"Home is where the heart is"
           

Overcoming Obstacles; Learning Lessons, Now What? Angers, France (BB)

Angers, France
In some ways it feels like just yesterday that I arrived here in France, in other ways it feels like I have been here for far longer. In truth, it has been almost three months since I left the United States for the study abroad experience of a lifetime. When I hit the halfway mark for my stay in France, the start of April, it was in the back of my mind that I would be leaving soon, but I did not really think much more about it. Fast forward a few weeks, April is drawing to a close and I fly home in about five weeks. I think that everything just started to feel real when I finally purchased my ticket home. Now that my flight home has a date and time, it is a much more concrete thing in my mind.

French cheese shop
Thinking back on the experience so far, I think that the most difficult obstacle I have faced here is just speaking the language without faltering. I am lucky enough to have a host mother who speaks English, which makes it much easier if I do not know a word in french, but it also means that I have to step outside my host family's house to put myself out of my comfort zone. If I am out in public speaking to people who do not also speak a bit of English, I am then forced to flounder my way around the conversation in some way or another. When I first got here, I was very shy and would often depend on other people in my little group of friends to do most of the talking if we met locals or had questions at a restaurant. It wasn't that I didn't understand what was being said, it was that I was not confident enough in my french to attempt to speak because I was too scared of making mistakes. It took me awhile to figure out that most french people in this small town are forgiving, and if anything, will try to help me with my french if I make a mistake while I am speaking. There is a very kind family at the market I go to on Saturday mornings, my friends and I refer to them as our “Cheese People” because they always have a stall with cheese and other products from their farm. When I speak to them, they are always patient and help me with my pronunciation, sometimes repeating words several times for me. I am by no means fluent in french, but after studying here for three months I am much more comfortable speaking and I also realize that making mistakes is the only way I am going to learn.

Now that I'm getting to the final few weeks of my experience, I am experiencing the stereotypical “bittersweet” period that I have heard many previous students of study abroad talk about. At some moments, I find myself wishing I could return home tomorrow because I miss my family and friends, American food and culture, and just the mundane aspects of daily life back in Pennsylvania. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my bedroom at home just to be in a more familiar space, but other times I wonder what I will feel like when I get back. Some of the restaurants here in Angers have become “my space”. There is a small kebab restaurant that I often go to with my friends, and even though it sounds like just a small aspect of my time in France, it is one of those places that has become so familiar to me in my time here. The man who runs it knows the orders of me and all of my friends, we are creatures of habit when it comes to our food. Back in the United States, most of the restaurants near me are more chains than anything, and I would never expect anyone working there to remember me or my order even if I went there five times a week.


I also find myself thinking about all of the new friends I have made in my time here. Will I ever keep in contact with them when I leave? I have made friends from different countries, from different states in the U.S., from everywhere. I miss my old friend in the United States like crazy, but I know that I will miss everyone I met in France as soon as I leave. I also miss my parents, who I'm used to seeing every month or so even when I'm away at school because I'm less than two hours away from home. My amazing host mother who has guided me through my time in France will probably one of the hardest people to leave behind here. The life I have
made here, even if only for a few months, has become my new normal. A new set of friends, a new family, and a new home will be traded for what was once my normal life when I fly home in June, and I will miss all of it. 

Friday, April 22, 2016

Global Citizenship and the Purpose of Study Away: Angers (AS)

The hike back from Loch Ness
Anyone who knows me knows that I have been waiting to study abroad since I was young. I always wanted to study in France and continue learning other languages to allow me to study other languages. But why did I, specifically, want to study abroad? It all started when I went to visit my oldest sister when she was studying abroad. I thought it was so cool that she could speak another language and that she was perfectly comfortable doing so. I was her shadow growing up, and therefore wanted to be like her. So now as I sit in my university’s library in France writing this blog amongst other homework, I sit back and think again, why am I here? I wanted to come to really focus on my French capabilities and also see what it was like to 1.) Live FAR away from home, and 2.) Live in a French home. So far I can comfortably say that my French has improved immensely. I can communicate with ease and I am comfortable traveling alone for I know that I can be the one to communicate with others in this foreign country. Now this country has become my second home now.
            Out of the three prompted documents, I have to argue with the document titled “American Students Abroad Can’t be ‘Global Citizens’” by Talya Zemach-Bersin.
Stonehenge
 The reason I need to argue this document is because this in one person’s person abroad experience. I believe that her situation abroad is too different from mine. She voyaged into the developing world and that was her own choice, she should have been well aware of what the circumstances were of the places she was traveling to. Her outlook is very pessimistic on the entirety of the study abroad experience. The most beneficial part of study abroad is learning about another culture and how they react to any and everything around them, including us Americans. Yes, we have an enormous privilege, but Talya seems to view that as a bad thing because of how the way people treated her when she was in her host countries. Often times I feel as though Americans here are generalized as not knowing more than one language and also that they are all obese, but this is obviously not the case, for there are two sides to every story, and she merely gave one side, which happened to, from my view, be negative towards Americans abroad. I personally plan on living abroad, probably here in France. How one feels towards a country and their culture varies from one person to the next. I love my host country, and I also love and I am proud to be an American.
In Edinburgh, Scotland
            My experience will not be shared like her experience though. Yes I had some downsides, those were inevitable, but my life here is completely different from my life at home. I live with a new family, new friends, new country, new language, new food, I have all of these new things, and I embrace every new challenge that comes my way. These obstacles will merely make me grow as a person. I will be able to tell my loved ones and my future interviewers that I am a changed person thanks to all of the things I learned when studying abroad. I will not be afraid to explain the bad times for they will be made up by all of the wonderful things that have happened in these past two and a half months.
            I will be able to take away more of my education, a new language, a new culture, a new way to embrace life when I come home. This has also made me realize that there are some things in every culture that are irreplaceable. These things can be like my friends at home, the bread and cheese here in France, and all of the little things that make each place unique. I am split in half right now, as I am in the middle of the semester and therefore half way through my abroad experience. I feel so excited to go home, but I also feel like I need to be here and discover more of what France has to offer. I know I will eventually have to go home. But I will also have to come back here to my second home