Interpersonal Relationships: Buenos Aires (YO)

It has already been two months since I began my semester abroad in Argentina. The first two weeks were a bit rough. Nothing really felt like home and the constant introduction to new things, people and places caused me to feel anxious. I was waiting for a routine, waiting for my life here to feel normal. As these feelings began to subside, I was able to observe the culture in a different, more distinct way. These observations lead to the moments when I started to feel at home in my host country. However, these moments were not ones of bliss, so to speak but of frustration which bore the need for me to call another place outside of the United States home. 

Gender/sexuality in addition to race/ethnicity all play a complex role in Argentine society. In terms of gender, there is much machismo ("strong or aggressive masculine pride" #thanksgoogle) present all throughout Latin America but especially in Argentina. In general, men are much more aggressive and outspoken towards women. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have been catcalled, approached or fought guys off in a boliche (dance club) since I've been here. What upsets me most about this is that while women are at times empowered and encouraged (usually only by other women) to say no when we feel uncomfortable, why are we subject to these "uncomfortable" situations to begin with? It's no surprise either that the autonomy women have over their own bodies is an issue worldwide but understanding how and why it takes place in each culture is one of the primary steps to dismantling it.

The other observation I made about the culture was the attitudes towards race here. Argentina has become the Latin American country with the most highly concentrated white population. The combination of genocides against indigenous groups, the "disappearance" of African slaves along with their descendants and a high inflation of European immigrants have all come to greatly shape the demographic, aesthetic profile and overall Argentine culture. While there are still indigenous groups and people of African descent present all throughout the country, the numbers pale in comparison to those of European descent. Furthermore, it is a common belief that there are no Afro-argentines or people of African descent in Argentina at all. This misconception is held by many within and outside of Argentina alike. All the same, for the past six or seven years there have been waves of people from countries across the world that come to Argentina (especially B.A.) to work, to go to school and even to find refuge from different types of persecution they face in their home country.

These waves have lead to higher numbers of people of African descent in the country. However, the presence of Black faces and Black bodies are still sometimes an enigma for Argentines of other descents. Getting stares especially when I wear my hair in braids or an afro is common. Not to mention, I get called morocha a lot which generally means a person with dark hair and a darker (than what is expected here) complexion. This term is often used by men when hitting on a woman with darker features. Usually because it is also common for "morochas" to be hypersexualized or stereotyped as being sexually compulsive.

These observations/experiences  along with the stress of college life and acclimating to a new lifestyle sometimes made me feel out of place and altogether overwhelmed. Although I have never questioned my decision to come to Argentina, there were times that I wished I was back in the States instead of here. Unbelievably though, the most ironic thing about all this is that when I felt like an alien being observed on my way to class or an object when random guys try to dance with me in the club, I thought to myself "I can't wait to go home." But when I thought of home I didn't think of my house, family or friends in the States. Instead I thought of going back to my 3 bedroom apartment in Villa Crespo that was so warmly opened up to me by my host family two months ago today.

Reflecting on this now has helped me to appreciate the context of home in a way that I never did before. The happy experiences we have in any given place or time become nostalgic memories that we like to reminisce over as we think about certain aspects of our lives. Whereas the places where we endure painful moments as well as joyous ones leave a lasting, bittersweet impression on us that we may forget the details of but always remember the feelings they caused. But isn't that home? A place where you find both love and sadness but the former always overcomes the latter?

Me and my afro :)

At least this has been my experience. I cannot project it onto anyone else. Nevertheless, what I would tell other students who are about to embark on their journey abroad is to not waste time being anyone other than yourself. When I first got to B.A. it was hard feeling comfortable in this new culture as a Black woman. I would feel so self-conscious about my big hair, full lips, and non-European body that it was almost unbearable at times. Then I remembered there are people everywhere who will have their opinions about me, for better or for worse. Either way I needed to be comfortable and confident in my own skin whatever culture or country I am in. In short, there will always be certain cultural distinctions that you as a guest should adhere to during your time abroad but if those distinctions are built off of a patriarchal society and/or a racebent history like my experience has been, don't be afraid to challenge the norm. If you are able to find some relief like the kind my host parents and friends have provided for me here, the challenges you face abroad will always be less than the amazing moments you will gain.