Interpersonal Relationships: Buenos Aires (MO)

There have been many times throughout my two months in Argentina where I have felt at home. Actually the majority of my time in Buenos Aires, I have felt right at home. I am lucky to say that I have not really suffered from homesickness thus far. This might have to do with the fact that I have been given the wonderful opportunity to live with an amazing woman who is now my "madre argentina" (Argentine mom), or the fact that the argentine culture is very welcoming to foreigners.

Talampaya, La Rioja

 I recently (this morning at 9am) got home from a long weekend trip from another region of Argentina. CIEE, my study away program, took all 40 students on a field trip to the desert and to two different national parks for a weekend, to show us a different part of Argentina. The trip basically consisted of a 15 hour bus ride, each way, and many many hours in a different bus driving around the desert. The sights that we were able to see were absolutely stunning, but the endless hours of driving around in a micro (to a person that gets severely motion-sickness) was not my ideal vacation. Because of the many countless hours of uncomfortable sleep in the bus, I kept finding myself thinking that I just wanted to go "home". I wanted to sleep in my bed, in my room. It was then that I realized that I was not referring to "my" room in the U.S., but rather my room in Buenos Aires. I was thinking of Buenos Aires as my home, and that is when it all clicked. I had finally made the internal change to calling Argentina my home. This is something that I do not find that hard to accomplish, coming from a person that in the last 3 years my home has switched between Castrop-Rauxel, Germany, Kerhonkson, New York, Kingston, New York, Meadville, Pennsylvania, and now Buenos Aires, Argentina. Although this idea is not foreign to me, I still very grateful every time my home does change, this means that I am comfortable enough with the society in which I'm living that I feel that I belong. 

El Oblisco in Buenos Aires

The feeling of belonging, comes along with many "rules". These "rules" are norms, or guidelines that communities put forward to keep structure. Although one could definitely argue that argentine society lacks structure, there are definitely some "rules" that come along with living in Buenos Aires. 

Argentines coming together to protest

The first major rule is that argentines always work as a group. In american culture is concept of group work does not exist easily. America is a "dog eat dog" world, "every man for himself" is a common phrase that one learns very early on in childhood. In Argentina it is quite the opposite. It seems that everyone works together as a whole here. Although at the moment, most argentines would argue that although they are working together, nothing is getting done, I find that working together is more important. Being able to rely on others, and support others provides a healthy environment to live in. In Argentina it is very common to see people helping others in the subte, or on the buses. For these reasons the need for personal freedom is not as strong in Argentina. People do not feel the need to be completely individual, in fact if one is too individual they seem to stick out. I do not always think that this is the best attribute to argentine culture, but I enjoy understanding the differences between these aspects of argentine and american culture. 

La Rioja, Argentina

Another interesting "rule" of argentine culture has to do with gender. Genders are much more defined in Argentina than they are in the U.S. It seems that gender roles really play a role in argentine society. It is assumed that all men in argentina are macho, and are strong individuales. Men do not cry, especially not in front a females. It is also assumed that the man works and earns the money for the family, while the females are meant to do housework. Females are much more emotional individuales and are weaker in the eyes of an argentine. Something that I find extremely degrading about women in argentine culture, is that women are seen as objects. It is very common that during my walk to university, I am whistled at and called different demeaning names because of my gender. Men feel that they are able to say whatever they want to a girl while walking down the street because it is a "compliment". Neither the words that are being yelled at my on the street, nor the facial reactions that I receive when I do not respond are "compliments". I am aware that this happens within the U.S. as well, but I have not seen it this apparent. This might have something to do with the idea that in Argentina men are expected to show girls that they like them. It clubs in Argentina it is very common for a man to come and grab your arm to dance with him, without asking for your permission first. I believe that the idea of consent has a stronger influence on communities with the U.S. than in Argentina. 

Allegheny girls sticking together

Although there are many "rules" to a society, one always has to remember that there are also "rules" within the society that you are from. There are many customs and social norms that americans follow every day. These customs just seem like normal things to us, while to a foreigner they might seem very strange. To future students that are planning on studying away, I recommend that they just take advantage of the time that they will have while abroad. I am almost half way done with my semester abroad, and that terrifies me. I feel like there are so many things that I still have to learn about argentine culture. I still want to better my Castellano greatly, and I still want to develop life-long relationships with argentines. I have come to grounds with the fact that I will be able to fulfill these wishes through one word..."yes". Saying yes is the most important thing that one can do while abroad. Your host family will ask you many times if you want to try new foods, go to the market, or read an article in their newspaper. Your university will ask you to volunteer in the slums, go to tutoring sessions, and to go to talks about Borges. Your friends will ask you to go out with them, to go to the movies, and to grab some coffee, and all you need to know is the word "yes". "Yes" will allow you to expand your horizons in many different ways, and will really show you the different layers of a community that make up one amazing culture.