Interpersonal Relationships: Paris (LT)

I’m supposed to start this post by explaining a moment in which I felt completely at home, but to be honest I do not believe I have had such a moment. I look around me and I realize that I am in a foreign country all the time. Yes I do have my moments where I feel completely comfortable but not ‘at home’. I believe this is the case because the differences in my culture to that of the French is very different and personally I’m not sure I could get comfortable with the way people interact with each other here.

I’ve noticed some positive things that I enjoy a lot, like when strangers interact. Usually this occurs when one of the two parties has a question about directions or is buying something at a store and the other person is manning the cash register. The interaction starts simply with one person say very courteously hello to the other and very nicely asking for help, and usually the conversation takes off from there. There is a formality to the conversation that makes the interaction very pleasant. As was explained to us very early on in our orientations when entering and leaving a bakery or a store it is polite to say hello and goodbye, and if they are not said it is considered to be very rude. This is very much unlike how Americans interact when entering stores. Yes it is considered polite to say hello and goodbye but it isn't expected like it is here, people are not considered rude if they enter a store buy what they need and leave without saying a word.

Another thing I have noticed here is that the French encourage community and in a way conformity over individuality. I say this because I’ve noticed that the french are all for freedom of religion and freedom of expression but the religion and the expression can’t be shoved into their faces. There was an incident on the metro where a devout man walked onto the train and started tell us that we needed to go to church and find god to save our souls, and people got extremely frustrated with him. In the states people would have been frustrated too for the man forcing his religion on others but we respect his freedom of speech and ignore it. In America, talking about religion and telling others straight out that you identify with a particular religious group is normal, respected and not a huge deal. Here people can be a part of whichever group they want, it is just never talked about, it is frowned upon if people make their religious affiliation too obvious.

Through observation and just being in very social areas like the metro or wandering around popular neighborhoods I’ve come to notice many interpersonal relations and interactions that have given me a better understanding of the French culture. But I honestly would not have understood half of what I was seeing without asking my professors at school or my french friends what it all meant. So for the new group of students I would encourage them to always ask questions. Always remain polite and ask the right people but don’t be afraid to ask because you really aren’t going to understand everything without explanations.